Banana Bread Vacation

I admit that I spend a lot of time writing about the problems of the world. A few respondents to my recent questions expressed their enjoyment of articles about hopeful developments. It sounds as if people need a break. Since I recently took a physical vacation, I’m offering up a written vacation for you.

I’d like to discuss banana bread. Specifically, I’d like to give you my own recipe for banana bread, adapted from the Fannie Farmer cookbook, and my advice on consuming the bread.

Baking banana bread is like cheating or stealing without the moral failure – you get so much for so little. It is absurdly simple. When I eat freshly baked banana bread I feel as if I have gotten away with something. It’s like a slot machine that pays off every time.

Here’s the recipe:

3 ripe bananas
2 eggs, beaten lightly
½ cup honey
1 cup white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour (Or ½ cup whole wheat and ½ cup buckwheat – adds texture)
1 teaspoon salt
1 heaping teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
½ teaspoon cloves
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
½ cup coarsely chopped walnuts
¼ cup finely chopped crystallized ginger

Mash the bananas with a fork in a big bowl. Add the eggs and honey and mix. Dump the flour, salt, baking powder and spices on top of this and mix them together a bit before stirring it all together. Add the walnuts and ginger and stir until they disappear into the mass. Turn on the oven to 350 F. Grease a loaf pan. I use a glass loaf pan and rub it with a stick of butter – the loaf drops out nicely. Fill the loaf pan and stick it in the oven for an hour, right on the nose.

When the timer goes off, you have reached a critical period in the enjoyment of banana bread. Have two potholders ready, plus a paring knife, a bread knife, a butter knife, a stick of butter, a cutting board, a plate, and your banana bread-compatible beverage of choice.

Many cookbooks will tell you to take out the banana bread a put it on a rack to cool.

This is utter bullshit.

Cooling banana bread is like warming ice cream, or allowing beer to go flat. If one could sue a cookbook writer for malpractice, it would be over this vicious, contemptible lie. The enjoyment of banana bread involves a quick and deft series of operations that start immediately as you remove the sacred loaf from the oven.

Put the loaf pan on top of the stove, where there is a warm environment from the oven. Run the paring knife around in between the loaf and the pan. Grab the loaf pan again and invert it on the cutting board. If you buttered the loaf pan well enough the bread should drop out with a little shake. Turn it upright, grab the bread knife, and immediately saw a ¾” slab off the end. Keep your head right over the operation so you inhale the rising steam from the cut end. Butter it generously and get it in your mouth while standing at the stove. With dexterity and luck you can be eating steaming hot butter-soaked banana bread within 60 seconds of removal. That is culinary nirvana. While you are chewing, slice another piece and butter it. Now you can actually sit down and eat it.

Once you have consumed two or more pieces, go outside for a minute. Come back in and smell the banana bread aroma anew.

There is no parable here, no moral to be derived from this. I have no political or social agenda today. I’m just suggesting that you assemble these ingredients and engage in a hedonistic act. Have a happy summer vacation.

More serious stuff next time.

Comments

[Hungry Ear]

I thought you were a vegan? There are eggs in there.